Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Creeping Out Of My Shell

Okay ... so it's been a while since I've blogged the last time. Looking at the dates I see that it hasn't actually been *that* long, but it seems like years. An awful lot has changed in my life recently so I guess it's time to get to it and update everybody.

The first, and biggest thing, is that I lost my job. I worked in HR...believe me I've heard the joke about how people "lose" their jobs. I've even said it a time or two...

You don't "lose" a job like you just left it someplace. You can't just say,"Holy shit, where'd it go?" You see it coming. You screw up. You set yourself up for it.

Well let me tell you. I'm opening my mouth and inserting my foot. I never saw it coming.

A week after my boss told me she was "happy with my performance" and a week after she reminded me to limit my personal phone calls and emails at work (which I did) she fires me for poor performance and too many personal emails. According to her I should have been "so scared" that I cut out personal emails all together. The way I see it, if that's what she wanted, she should have spoken the fuck up.

So here I am ... jobless for the first time in a VERY loooong time. But I've already got some really good leads and am expecting to get something new lined up very soon. I'm hoping to even get something VERY close to home. I'd like to cut my commute down by a LOT or possibly keep the same commute time but ride my bike to work instead! :-D

I'm trying very hard to keep a positive outlook. I'm trying very hard not to be too depressed and not to drink too much. I allowed myself ONE night of drunken stupidness - the day I came home from work with my box of shit - to drink myself into oblivion. That's been it. I've been getting through thanks to wonderful support from my Sister and from Chris. Chris has really been amazing. I don't know what I would be doing with myself if he weren't here. Sister has been great too - she came that drunken night and let me cry on her shoulder. She came the next night to ride bicycles and go out to eat. I know that despite our inability to see each other daily at work anymore we will remain close, close friends. That is so important to me.

Chris and I ran away late Friday night/early Saturday morning to my folks' house for a while. Their place is always so relaxing and wonderful and it thrills me to no end that Chris sees it the same way. Chris and I did some talking while I was out there. I don't know why, but when I lost my job I was really afraid that I would lose him too. He reassured me that we're in this life together - me and him. Neither of us hang on to any long term plans, and there are never any concrete promises made, but for now it is us. We are going to make it through.

Tonight was a lot of fun. It is "National Night Out" for those of you who aren't *in the know*! Hahaha ... our street has a little get-together for the night and we have food and company and conversation. Our neighbor right across the street is the unofficial planner so it was really nice to have to go about 20 feet away from our driveway to find the party. I grilled a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE steak for me and Chris and made some (instant) mashed potatos *grin*. It's nice to know the neighbors. It's definitely a trend that is missing in the high-tech, busy world of today. Keeping with this trend, I decided to open up a Yahoo message group so that the more digitally-minded on the street can keep track of each other as well. I've never moderated my own message board before, so this should be pretty interesting.

So ... off to bed soon. Job hunt continues tomorrow morning.

Thank you, Chris. And thank you, Sister. You both mean so much to me.



At 5:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are one of my greatest joys in life. I feel lost without you. I may miss you here but I know, when I leave here, I know where I can go where the bike riding is good and the conversation the best.

We are in this thing together. I can't wait for this weekend. To eat, sleep(maybe :-D) and be

You make my life complete. I love you...

"Say Elaine, are you going to eat that?"

Love you...
(Tell Nekkid I love him too)


At 4:38 AM, Blogger L said...

oh, wow. i'm so sorry to hear that! things will turn up for you, you've got that good energy! :)


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