Ummm...hi

So ... yeah... I know it's been a while since we talked. But I've been really busy, ya know, and shit happens I guess, and ...

Yeah ...

What to say, what to say.

Nothing much TO say these days I suppose. Work has gotten weird. I'm seriously contemplating fresh employement opportuinities. Chris is still great...maybe too great. I've found myself nearly obsessing over finding *the flaw* in our relationship. I think the real flaw may be that we don't have one. I'm considering starting a fight. ;-) The Christmas/Holiday season was kind of a bitch for me - being Wiccan and all. Money is a constant stress but I still couldn't help spoiling when and how I could for gifts. Lots of strange dreams, lots of bad days, but still lots of good times too.

My best friend got engaged FINALLY! I'm stoopid excited for her. Her ring is awesome and I know her fiance will be too ... once I eventually get to meet him. I feel like shit that they've been together for 2 years and I've never even met him. There's a problem with that. Definite re-evaluation of my priorities is needed. I realize we live like 10 hours apart from one another and we're both very busy - but come the fuck on. I should have made the time by now. I'm sorry, Robyn, that I haven't.

I should have a very large chunk of money coming in before too long from my old job pension. I've already spent most of it three times over. Paying off some old debts and buying some stuff that Chris and I dont' really *need*, but we kinda do. Things like a couple of plane tickets to meet my best friend's fiance, a DVD player (because my laptop screen is TINY), and a fancy CD player alarm clock because the cheap one we have sucks.

It will be kind of sad getting rid of this alarm clock though. I bought it back when I was still living with friend, Chris was still living with his aunt, and we were staying in hotel rooms every Wednesday night. I bought it so we could wake up to something nicer than those crappy hotel alarms ... and so it would feel less like a hotel I guess.

If it makes you feel any better I haven't spent any time writing in my journals either. So it's not just my blog that's been neglected. My writing all together has suffered. I don't know what I'm afraid of. Thoughts...feelings...I don't know. I also find myself not wanting to sleep at night. There's something I don't want to let out, I think.

Maybe I just need a new start. A new year. 2006 is right around the corner and I will get to bring it in at midnight on January 1st with the man that I love. We'll be together and start up fresh. I need it.

So I promise not to make it so damn long before I update this thing again. I'll try at least.

*If* I don't say hello again before the new year, have a great one, everybody!

Love,
Darbi