What's Your Currency?

Sorry it's been so long since my last blog. My frustration over actually getting my last blog to APPEAR has kind of left me unmotivated. Oh, and I'm really busy at work.

But I wanted to talk to you all a little bit today about emotional currency. What's yours? What the hell is it, you ask. Well emotional currency is what you USE or what you GET in a relationship (any relationship - friend, family, lover) that is valuable. Some people's currency is words - they say nice things in order to show that they care. They expect others to say nice things to them. It's their way of trade in order to show affection, attraction, or care. Others use actions as currency - DO something for me to show me you care. THIS is what I'm doing for YOU to show you that I care. Still some other people actually use CURRENCY as their currency - pay my bills and I'll know you care, etc. Of course, they don't always have to match. Some show in one way but expect to receive in another.

So anywhoo - my challenge for all of my blogreaders today is to examine your own emotional currency. What do you do for others to show that you care? What do you EXPECT from others?

This was a topic of conversation at work yesterday that led me to analyze my own emotional currencies. And what I've come up with - NOTHING! I can't pinpoint anything.
I think I pay out in every denomination. Money tends to be something that I dole out as often as possible to those I care about. I try and ACT on anything or in any way that I think other people may appreciate. I try and express my feelings as much as possible - even though words seem lacking to me so often. As I look at myself - I see myself continually paying out all day long, in every way I possibly can, almost to the point of exhaustion - just because I feel like that's what I need to do. But I'm not sure if it's allowable to pay in every denomination - perhaps I have a specialty that I just can't see. Can anyone else help me out on this one??

And as far as what I expect? Oh geez...this is something that I'm struggling with a lot. Because of my own silly self-esteem issues I tend not to EXPECT anything from anyone. I simply don't accept emotional currency well. Of course my friends and loved ones do and say things all the time that make me feel special and cared for - but there is nothing that I particularly look for as a sign of this affection. I feel like I *should* - I feel like I should pick one and start holding people to that standard. But choosing is nearly impossible. The closest guess I can come up with right now is simply communication. I want you to tell me what you're thinking and feeling. Nothing is more gratifying to me than for "you" (my theoretical giver) to open yourself up to me for a few minutes. Let me peek in for a while. Show me *you*. Is that an allowable currency? Is it wrong for me to ask?

This is a post full of questions. Please - let me know!

Darbi