Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I .... FREAKING .... ROCK!

...or at least my horoscope seems to think so. Today's words of wisdom are:

"You're so darned charming now, you can hardly believe it yourself. So imagine how your lucky companion is feeling -- and yes, that does go for anyone who happens to be working with you, too."

So, tell me...feeling lucky? :-D

How did my horoscope know that I feel like the Queen of the World today? It's both lovely and creepy how dead on this thing is sometimes.

I'm still no closer to that weird little corner today, but I feel great. I dont know what it is about the last couple of days, but I really feel good. I feel worth something. My self-esteem and self-image are in check. And what's even better - somehow I've finally gotten over my mad testosterone rush of the last week-ish. I am no longer completely distracted by thoughts of porn and sex in my day. I've geared back down into my occasional Angelina Jolie/Stuart Townsend threesome daydreams. *grin* Hahahaha! But, yeah...I'm good.

Things with Chris are going really really well. We've communicated a lot over the last couple of days and we plan on catching up and spending some quality time really talking soon. You know talking, that stuff that people just don't have time for much anymore. We're going to sit down, shut off the tv, and look at each other. It'll be nice. We are understanding a lot more one another's needs during our relationship time, and I think this is great. I think it's not only making the time that we are "together" more rewarding and special, I think that when/if we decide to end it that will be a much easier process too. When/if...yep, I said it. The more time I spend with him and the more we're at this *official couple* thing the more comfortable I am with it. Honestly, I thought I'd be ready to jump ship by now. On the contrary, I'm settling in more and more. I, of course, do not expect the same out of him - but I am ready to at least admit what I'm thinking.
This does not mean that I'm throwing my Casual Dating plan out the window. This does not mean that I'm viewing our relationship as something more than just a relationship. When I started out on this whole "relationship after marraige" quest I swore that I would not see every relationship as a precursor to engagement and marriage, and I'm sure-as-shit not starting now. All I'm saying is that I don't see this as something that has to have an expiration date. I'm going to embrace my new Piratess attitude and just let this ride out until the wind is out of the sails. I'm just going to hang...

OH! In other happy news:
1) I got my magnetic poetry back and it is up on the fridge. I am now ready to write shitty poetry, limited to whatever words I can find in a hurry, for any houseguest to see! I love magnetic poetry - come and read some sometime!
2) Paul Fucking Oakenfold is coming to Houston on FRIDAY and I should be there. PAUL F'ING OAKENFOLD!!!! Somehow I missed the announcement until this morning, but I hope to buy tickets for Chris and I tomorrow. Paul Oakenfold is GOD!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Hangin' and happy,


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