Monday, November 01, 2004


What a crazy and insane couple of weeks! My internet work time has gone down to almost nothing with the move into the new office building and all of the stuff that has been going on. But I wanted to at least hop on here to write a little today to clear my head a little bit. I'm living my life these days from Wednesday to Wednesday. Meeting Chris at the Cafe is absolutely the highlight of my week. I stop throughout the day and think about going and spending time with Chris and other friends - but mostly about Chris. We will sit, talk, and have dinner and then we will kiss, cuddle, and dance. Definitely the highlight of my week....

Let me tell you something about how damn pretty this boy is. I tend to become enamored with someone in an instant and see them as beautifully as they appear to be on the inside. Because of this I've got a bad habit of projecting inner beauty to the outer person. I tell my friends that I've met this great, good-looking person but when they see a picture or meet this guy they never seem as cute as I think that they are. This is one of the things that happened a while back with my "friend". He was great in the beginning and I really liked him, but as time went on and I realized how little potential there was for any kind of a future between us and he got less and less handsome. Chris, however, is a different story. I showed his picture off last week to my friends and they all agree that he is abstoluely gorgous. It's hard to believe I ended up with a boy this pretty, but he is a very pretty pretty boy....I guess all I can do is enjoy it while it's here.

This leads me right into my next big stressor of the day. When I met Chris he said, "Love me, but don't fall in love with me." I was great with this because I felt the same way. But the more I see him, the more I spend time with him, and the more I think about him the harder it gets. He's really great. I am trying so hard to keep it casual but my heart is not cooperating!! For now, mind is prevailing but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I know that I will get hurt - I'm considering it inevitable at the moment - so I'm just going to enjoy it while I can and put it off as long as I can. Will keep you posted!!

A blessed Samhain everybody! Happy New Year!


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