Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Inadequate Language

I believe that the English language is painfully inadequate when it comes to certain words. Just like the Inuit have a number of words to describe snow, which plays an integral part of their life, we should also differentiate some of the broader terms in our vocabulary.

The first word I'd like to see defined more specifically is confidence. Often when you ask a man or woman what they are looking for in an individual they answer "confidence". My question, however, is what kind of confidence. Confidence is carried in so many different ways. There is physical confidence, mental confidence, emotional confidence, and also over-exaggerated confidence. I think my main reason for wanting clarification on this issue is my own askew psyche.
I would consider myself to be a very confident person. I believe myself to be a great person who would be an asset to anyone's friendship circle. I am sure of myself, my opinions, and my actions. I make a plan and I follow through. I am an intelligent individual and know it. I do not shy away from intellectual conversations on many subjects, as I am certain that I can hold my own. I am confident!
However, emotionally, confidence doesn't even make it onto the radar. When it comes to love I simply do not feel worthy. I don't take compliments well. Most days I can honestly convince myself that I will not find someone to love me because I am not good enough. Can I still consider myself to be confident?
I also consider the fact that many people that I believe to be cocky or self-involved are quite confident. So confident, in fact, that they believe themselves to be infallible. Do I really want to box myself in with this type of person - comparing ourselves under the umbrella of "confidence"?

The second word is pretty much a gimmie, but still deserves to be discussed here I think, and that word is love. Love is so completely overused in our language - it can be used to describe so many things. I can love my new purse. I can love my cat. I can love my friends or family. And I can love...that real love. Why do we as a society use an identical word to describe our feelings about the person we want to wake up next to everyday for the rest of eternity and our Aunt Flo? Shouldn't there be a little differentiation here? For the sake of confusion avoidance shouldn't we make some sort of a change? "Love", in my opinion, needs to be updated to at least 6 other words. How many times has someone told you that they loved you and you had to stop and consider or ask for clarification about exactly what kind of love they're feeling? Not only this, but the word has become jumbled up in our own hearts as well. Not only do we have to question the meaning when another person says it, but when we consider that we love another person, individuals have to stop and consider exactly how. I know that a friendship love and a romantic love tend to get ridiculously jumbled up in my head and it takes some deep and devoted searching to find out exactly how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm teetering just between. And sometimes I can't figure it out at all.

I am a regimented and logical person. I simply need more from our language. Anyone else for a rewrite of old Webster's book?

Here's to knowing exactly what you mean,



At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My question is different. It does go along with the confidence. I always want to know "why". Why do you love me?


At 1:08 PM, Blogger Misty said...

Sister, if you only knew. If I could have a mirror that would show you what I see. You would know you deserves so much more than you are letting your self have. If its' the Pot calling the Kettle black, then so be it. You have much to offer. Much to give. You light is to strong for one person. If you could only see the light you have and all its beauty. I wish you could see you through my eyes.

You are loved.

At 2:01 PM, Blogger Darbi said...

Oh, Sister...you're gonna make me tear up. Just remember that you deserve all of the same things and that YOU are LOVED TOO!



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