Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Girls In My Closet

There are an awful lot of girls in my closet.

There's Goth Girl, and Punk Girl, and Work Girl, and Sophisticated Girl. There's Classy Girl and Comfy Girl. They hang out and wait to be plucked - depending on my mood for the day.

They're just outward and tangible reflection of all the gals fighting for space inside of me.

Some mornings I wake up feeling one of my girls and go right for that uniform. Some days I wake up with no idea and spend a while trying on things until one feels right. Some days I need to work myself into a role and force myself into something that will take me there. I'm not a materialistic person requiring racks of designer clothes to fit every mood - they're mostly just clothes that I've acquired over the years. I'm still wearing tops that I bought in middle school!

Lately I've had a harder and harder time fitting myself into any of my outfits. I'm quite unsure of myself. My emotions have begun to run amok and most days I'd just rather curl up in bed and stay all day (hard to imagine considering my social calendar as of late, but true). But I force myself up, force myself to choose an appropriate "me" for the day, and move.

What a wondeful surprise this morning when I woke up and knew exactly who I was today. I walked confidently into my closet and chose just the right outfit. Even more than that, I decided exactly what I am going to change into tonight for the Cafe as well. Apparently my self-image is becoming more secure. I'm more sure of who I am today.

My rituals since the new year have had a lot to do with finding appropriate guidance and wisdom in my life so maybe they are starting to improve things. I hope this positive trend continues. I am definitely in need of some more clarity in a few different areas!

Just like the Oracle said...
Know thyself,


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