Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Worst...Chat...Ever

Okay so I'm at work this afternoon and I get one of these random people IM'ing me wanting to chat. This is the worst chat conversation I have ever had. I had a creepy feeling about him from the start so I'll admit that I didn't put much effort into it. But he just kep bombarding me with questions!! It was like the Spanish GodDamn Inquisition!! And I just kept up with the short answers. The ONE TIME I tried to make a joke - it went right over his head. It's so damn funny I'm going to copy and paste the whole damn conversation here. Screen names have been changed to protect the idiotic. My witty Side notes are in RED.


DumbChatGuy: hi, i found your profile on the profile search, hope you dont mind
DumbChatGuy: what are you doing
darbidoll: working
darbidoll: what are you doing?
DumbChatGuy: the same
DumbChatGuy: what do you do?
darbidoll: i'm an HR assistant
DumbChatGuy: exactly what do you do
darbidoll: lots of things - relating to HR
DumbChatGuy: does the job pay well
darbidoll: it's allright
DumbChatGuy: is the job demanding hours
DumbChatGuy: or do you have a lot of time to your self
darbidoll: i work about 45 hours a week
DumbChatGuy: thats not too bad
DumbChatGuy: so what part of houston are you from
darbidoll: i live in the woodlands
DumbChatGuy: i dont get out there that much, a lil too far
DumbChatGuy: is your job located out there too?
darbidoll: actually i work even further north
DumbChatGuy: damn
DumbChatGuy: so your never around the city?
DumbChatGuy: lol
darbidoll: oh yeah - i go there a lot
darbidoll: at least a couple of times a week - maybe more
DumbChatGuy: i bet you waste money like crazy on gas
DumbChatGuy: damn gas prices keep going up
DumbChatGuy: damn economy
darbidoll: nah - i get good mileage
DumbChatGuy: lol
DumbChatGuy: what kind of car do you have?
darbidoll: I drive a MINI Cooper
DumbChatGuy: big time gas saver
darbidoll: yep
DumbChatGuy: how much does it take to fill up your tank
darbidoll: about 23 bucks
DumbChatGuy: for a mini cooper
darbidoll: yeah - it's got a 13 gallon tank - premium gas
DumbChatGuy: how much is a gallon of gas out in the woodlands
DumbChatGuy: whoa
DumbChatGuy: i thought it would be unleaded
darbidoll: nope
DumbChatGuy: and less gallons than that
darbidoll: made by BMW
DumbChatGuy: oh yeah
DumbChatGuy: so what does HP stand for
darbidoll: human resources
DumbChatGuy: oh sorry HR
DumbChatGuy: do you work for a big company or lil
darbidoll: it's medium-sized - maybe 350 employees
DumbChatGuy: do you go to school as well
DumbChatGuy: or just work
darbidoll: I take a couple of online classes
DumbChatGuy: what are you going for?
DumbChatGuy: well what degree?
darbidoll: associates in management with a certificate in HR management
DumbChatGuy: so you pretty well have things planned out
darbidoll: i think so
DumbChatGuy: have you lived in the woodlands all your life?
darbidoll: no - i grew up in the texas panhandle - in a town called borger
DumbChatGuy: so how long have you lived in the woodlands
darbidoll: i've lived north of houston for about 5 years
darbidoll: moved to the woodlands about 3 and a half years ago
DumbChatGuy: do your parents still live here
DumbChatGuy: do you still live with them
darbidoll: no - my parents live about halfway between here and dallas
DumbChatGuy: so you live alone or do you have a roommate
darbidoll: i'm staying with some friends right now - about to get a rental house with another friend in a couple of weeks
DumbChatGuy: thats cool
DumbChatGuy: it sucks having to move though
DumbChatGuy: how long have you been working for that company
darbidoll: almost 5 years
darbidoll: since i lived here
DumbChatGuy: so you were 18 when you started working there?
darbidoll: yep
DumbChatGuy: so you ready to become a Human Resourcer of your own
(Side note- what the FUCK is a Human Resourcer?)
darbidoll: well i'll move up in the company someday - i didn't start out in human resources
darbidoll: i've only been doing this the last couple of years or so
DumbChatGuy: when you started what were you doing?
darbidoll: just general admin stuff- helping out with a lot of departments
(Side note - get ready for my funny moment...)
DumbChatGuy: so in a nut shell, how would you describe your self?
darbidoll: squished
darbidoll: ...unless of course it was a rather large nutshell
DumbChatGuy: lol
DumbChatGuy: ok well a rather large nutshell
darbidoll: lonely...yep - in a big nutshell i'd be lonely
DumbChatGuy: so you would describe your self as lonely
darbidoll: well yeah, if i ws in a nutshell
DumbChatGuy: interesting
(See - he TOTALLY missed it!)
DumbChatGuy: so what type of music do you like
darbidoll: all kinds
DumbChatGuy: what do you have in your cd player right now?
darbidoll: Eternal Sunshine soundtrack
DumbChatGuy: so you listen to alternative music
DumbChatGuy: whats your favorite type of music?
darbidoll: i listen to alternative ..... my favorite kind is probably drum n bass
DumbChatGuy: so what do you do for fun
DumbChatGuy: or on the weekends
darbidoll: i like to go out and see live music and dance
DumbChatGuy: what was the last concert you went to
darbidoll: depends on your definition of concert
DumbChatGuy: ok live performance?
DumbChatGuy: brb
darbidoll: i go see a band called pot roast play every wednesday
DumbChatGuy: have to go to the lil boys room
(Side note - "lil boys room" okay number one don't tell me this until I know you a little better and number two simply calling it that ensures that you will NEVER know me that well)
darbidoll: k
DumbChatGuy: ok im back
DumbChatGuy: sorry i took long
(Side note - what exactly were you DOING in there...should have added the time stamps to this!)
darbidoll: no problem
darbidoll: anyway the last live band i saw was on saturday - saw two - blendt and fusion
DumbChatGuy: where do you usually go see them at
darbidoll: there's a place in houston called *The Cafe* that i go to
DumbChatGuy: have you heard of the 19th hole
darbidoll: yeah - i go there from time to time
DumbChatGuy: i've been there to see a band called "otl"
darbidoll: i don't know if i've ever seen them
DumbChatGuy: so you usually go out on wednesdays
darbidoll: yep

The poor bastard gave up at this point....Thank Goddess!! What a weird dude...

43 questions and all crap...the longest sentence that wasn't a question was about the "lil boys room". Absolutely frightening.

1 Comments:

At 9:30 AM, Blogger Egan said...

That was great. Thanks for allowing me to see first hand how lame this guy is/was. Sounds like he doesn't understand the difference between premium gas and unleaded either. Ouch!

 

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