Alone...and How Do I Feel About That?

I have things to say but it's late and I'm too tired to do it right. So here's the ramble.

• I took Chris to the airport this morning. He'll be gone for two weeks. I drove away and it was weird. I used to drive my husband to the airport and drop him off. There was such a feeling of FREEDOM when he was gone. I didn't get that feeling today. I haven't nailed down just WHAT that feeling was. I think I was horny...
• I almost miss Chris.
• I would probably miss Chris more if I wasn't waiting for some *company* to come over.
• I kind of wish my company wouldn't come over because I'm sleepy.
• I hope that I'm *actually* sleepy and not just missing Chris too much.
• I'll have to actually think about which of those things is true.
• I had a friend take me out for lunch today and he was so cool. I think I'll call him later this week...damn this is going to be a busy week...
• Sister and Dude came over earlier. We had tea, we threw cards, we rode bikes. It fucking rocked.
• My tarot cards make me mad. Another stellar reading for Sister while they continue to piss on my needs. Anyone else throw cards that can do a reading for me?
• He's supposed to be here in a half hour. How long do I give him before I go to bed? Or will I just go to bed and tell him I fell asleep and missed the doorbell?
• I got enrolled in classes for the Fall semester today FINALLY! Sometimes colleges do stupid things like cancel classes that are required for your degree and then never replace them with anything. Then it takes them a year to get around to telling you which classes to take. These are the people responsible for MY education. I'm scared.
• I want Sister to move in with me...NOT just for her but for me too. I think I need her right now and I can't put a finger on why. I just need her close. Maybe it's just because I worry about her so much when she's at her house ... or maybe it's something else. Maybe it's just because I'm sleeping for the very first time since I moved in ALONE in this big house. WHERE the hell are a set of cards that will work for me when I need them?
• Wow...so I did just start thinking about how alone I am in here. Either I need to fall asleep soon or he needs to show up soon. This is weird.
• I'm going to have to put another blanket on the bed tonight ... it gets cold in bed alone.
• Maybe I do miss Chris.
• Fuck
• Probably just because I have nothing to do at the moment. Need to get busy again...
• Going to sleep now ... not waiting up ... sorry, B!

G'nite,

Darbi

p.s. Faire and Garlic